LOVE IS NOT ALL THAT MATTERS. - Enenim Ubon

“We all have one heart, and one heart needs another. LOVE IS ALL THAT MATTERS, it matters after all...”. - Diana Ross(lyrics from the song Love is All that Matters).

I have heard it being said severally that “when two people love each other, they can survive whatever life throws at them(and their relationship)”. Examples have been given of relationships that survived till the death of the couple because they truly loved each other. As tempting as it is to believe this notion, I have come to the conclusion that no relationship can survive on love alone.

Every love no matter how strong(without the necessary ingredients) has an expiry date. The most important ingredient for an healthy relationship is UNDERSTANDING. When a couple understand each other, they can overcome whatever challenges they face. Understanding beget trust. Understanding beget faithfulness. Understanding beget mutual respect etc.

When a couple understand each other unnecessary quarrels will be reduced to minimum; because the couple know what to say to each other, when to say same as well as what each person likes or dislikes. Love alone cannot perform this function.

Where there is understanding, forgiveness will thrive. It is way easier to forgive the actions of people towards us when we understand their motives than it is to forgive the actions of people whose motives we do not have a grasp of, no matter how much they profess to love us. Couples have divorced, engagements have been broken, lovers have gone their separate ways despite the feeling of love they still have for one another.

Love is great BUT it is just not enough. The willingness to understand the people we love remains critical to the sustenance of our relationships with them. Understanding people is never an easy task but that is the price one must pay to sustain any union. “Love without understanding is like flowers without water”.

Our egos are put in check when we understand the evolving needs of one another. Love can bring two people together, an understanding of their different peculiarities will keep them from drifting apart. When understanding each other ceases to be a priority, the relationship has run its course. Understanding one another takes away our inner desire to always prove we are right regardless of how much we have hurt the other person.

For any relationship to be healthy and last 'forever', understanding(one another) ought to be given much more priority than love or at least equal priority.



Enenim Ubon tweets from @EnenimUbon.